So beautifully accurate! Still repeating the same jargons unaware that the house is burning, and still puffing up the chest with righteous attitude as an invincible fool claiming to be the best. You nailed it!
While you might be considering UAE as your next petit copain, just be aware that he’s a huge slut with a penchant for Patek Philipes and Russian hookers..
The quirky dude in the Peugeot may like to get his freak on, but as least its on [mostly] stable ground.
"...a tired, old, paunchy middle-aged man still trying to live on the merits of your yesteryears’ glory."
Perfect metaphor. It's how I see America every time I re-enter. I glance around at my fellow Americans in the customs line and wonder if they see the same things I see? The aging infrastructure, the expensive health care system that does everything it can to avoid giving actual care, the talk of freedom that isn't really free, how citizenship became more of a hostage situation... being barked at... my god, the barking!
Thanks Gerard… it really was my trip to Dubai that made the contrast so obvious- clean, safe, so many cultures, it’s how people used to feel about the U.S. - I’m guessing I’ll now be on a watch list for this post 🤪
Here we go again....its becoming a Maureenism: the twist of perspective, the analogies we fall in to unsuspecting they would be our own. We'll done. The intr4national sophistication was a conceptual lure for about 3 seconds, until I thought 'this was a visit, not an experience in living; there is so much below this surface. Political instability, intolerance, repression, materialism. I hope your present marriage grows but respect the excitement of other relationships.
Thanks Susan and agreed Dubai has a lot of shadow below it's sophisticated exterior. Current marriage is going well lol. Maybe I need to explore an open relationship ?!? LOL.
Loved this piece and many people have their eye on your guy, Portugal! The old boyfriend has a gift of gab in our native tongue, of course, and at times I think the media exaggerate old boyfriend's problems and enhance the attributes of the new romance. I have noticed that your old boyfriend changes greatly depending on his location. Still, I wish you well in new romance! Remember you broke up on friendly terms, so come back for a cuppa overpriced coffee from time to time!
Maureen - I so hear you! I grew up madly in love with the US, quite positive he was the only guy for me. Then in 2012 between a relationship ending that left me looking for a change and a new job opportunity I moved to Italy, positive that this would be a temporary thing, a midlife fling. I kept my home in San Diego and have been going back and forth between Italy and the US for 12 twelve years - 2 timing the nations like a little residential harlot, of which I’m not even slightly ashamed (I have dual citizenship with the US and Ireland). I’ve also found that contrary to my expectations, Italy is much more of a gentleman than I ever imagined. He offers excellent healthcare at prices that take my breath away. Buying groceries with him doesn’t require taking out a loan and the produce actually tastes good, rather than just looking nice. He believes that when someone owns a home, it is sacred and not merely a rental from the state through insane property taxes. I don’t need 4-wheel drive to maneuver his beautifully paved streets the way I do in San Diego. Where I am in northern Italy, he appreciates the diversity of languages and cultures and we all manage to get along fabulously without anyone accusing anyone else of being an invader - I do realize that some folks who come in from areas south have a different experience with my Italian lover. As I look forward to my more senior years, I am baffled to realize that I’d rather spend them with Italy where ageism doesn’t exist than the US were a woman over 40 needs to slowly make herself disappear and where I’d possibly end up bankrupt if I caught a bad cold over the age of 60. I’m heartbroken over all the now empty promises the US gave me of opportunity, equal rights, respect for the individual. I’ve never once in Italy walked into a meeting room and been asked to go fetch the group coffee - oh yeah, that happened more than once in the US when I was the MOST SENIOR person in the room. I don’t ever get nervous about my safety in Italy, where in the US, I’d get nervous if I just got pulled over by the police for a broken taillight of which I was unaware. In my little town my butcher, fruit/veggie guys, pasta shop, restaurants… they all know me personally and genuinely care how I’m doing and vice versa. In San Diego I could go to the same grocery store and the same restaurant day after day, year after year, without ever making a meaningful connection with anyone that works there. The US can be an incredibly lonely place - millions of people all living so alone. I go get pizza with my florist in Italy. In the States it is easy to life an invisible life. Italy makes me feel seen and loved.
Lenore I am so glad you found a guy who knows how to treat you right 🙌 I went skiing in Italy with my son in Feb and even the smallest little road side places had the most amazing food - it definitely made me consider a serious fling with your home country 😈
As a middle-aged, American living in Mexico about seven years (and about five in Costa Rica before that), I loved how much this piece made me smile.
Call me an expat, call me an immigrant (just don't call me late for dinner?), I don't care. The thought of having to move home at this point could keep me up at night if I spent time on it. I don't hate the US, and I don't hear that in this piece either, but... it's complicated.
Thanks Damon - like many of my failed romantic relationships I never hated them I just always thought “if only they could change it could be sooo good”. There is the grief of accepting the what is. Costa Rica is one of my favorite places - I’m glad my post made you smile 🤗
Thanks for writing. Although I’ve been really busy since you left, I have thought of you from time to time. I always wanted you to be happy, so if you are finding happiness in old 🇵🇹 or even Dubai, I wish you well. I owe you a letter with an update on my life, but honestly (see, I’m trying) I don’t know when I’ll get around to it. Best!
So beautifully accurate! Still repeating the same jargons unaware that the house is burning, and still puffing up the chest with righteous attitude as an invincible fool claiming to be the best. You nailed it!
Love your writing.., but...
While you might be considering UAE as your next petit copain, just be aware that he’s a huge slut with a penchant for Patek Philipes and Russian hookers..
The quirky dude in the Peugeot may like to get his freak on, but as least its on [mostly] stable ground.
Lmao - thanks - for the “dating” advice Don - it was just a first date - nothing serious 😉
"...a tired, old, paunchy middle-aged man still trying to live on the merits of your yesteryears’ glory."
Perfect metaphor. It's how I see America every time I re-enter. I glance around at my fellow Americans in the customs line and wonder if they see the same things I see? The aging infrastructure, the expensive health care system that does everything it can to avoid giving actual care, the talk of freedom that isn't really free, how citizenship became more of a hostage situation... being barked at... my god, the barking!
Thanks Gerard… it really was my trip to Dubai that made the contrast so obvious- clean, safe, so many cultures, it’s how people used to feel about the U.S. - I’m guessing I’ll now be on a watch list for this post 🤪
Here we go again....its becoming a Maureenism: the twist of perspective, the analogies we fall in to unsuspecting they would be our own. We'll done. The intr4national sophistication was a conceptual lure for about 3 seconds, until I thought 'this was a visit, not an experience in living; there is so much below this surface. Political instability, intolerance, repression, materialism. I hope your present marriage grows but respect the excitement of other relationships.
Thanks Susan and agreed Dubai has a lot of shadow below it's sophisticated exterior. Current marriage is going well lol. Maybe I need to explore an open relationship ?!? LOL.
Loved this piece and many people have their eye on your guy, Portugal! The old boyfriend has a gift of gab in our native tongue, of course, and at times I think the media exaggerate old boyfriend's problems and enhance the attributes of the new romance. I have noticed that your old boyfriend changes greatly depending on his location. Still, I wish you well in new romance! Remember you broke up on friendly terms, so come back for a cuppa overpriced coffee from time to time!
Maureen - I so hear you! I grew up madly in love with the US, quite positive he was the only guy for me. Then in 2012 between a relationship ending that left me looking for a change and a new job opportunity I moved to Italy, positive that this would be a temporary thing, a midlife fling. I kept my home in San Diego and have been going back and forth between Italy and the US for 12 twelve years - 2 timing the nations like a little residential harlot, of which I’m not even slightly ashamed (I have dual citizenship with the US and Ireland). I’ve also found that contrary to my expectations, Italy is much more of a gentleman than I ever imagined. He offers excellent healthcare at prices that take my breath away. Buying groceries with him doesn’t require taking out a loan and the produce actually tastes good, rather than just looking nice. He believes that when someone owns a home, it is sacred and not merely a rental from the state through insane property taxes. I don’t need 4-wheel drive to maneuver his beautifully paved streets the way I do in San Diego. Where I am in northern Italy, he appreciates the diversity of languages and cultures and we all manage to get along fabulously without anyone accusing anyone else of being an invader - I do realize that some folks who come in from areas south have a different experience with my Italian lover. As I look forward to my more senior years, I am baffled to realize that I’d rather spend them with Italy where ageism doesn’t exist than the US were a woman over 40 needs to slowly make herself disappear and where I’d possibly end up bankrupt if I caught a bad cold over the age of 60. I’m heartbroken over all the now empty promises the US gave me of opportunity, equal rights, respect for the individual. I’ve never once in Italy walked into a meeting room and been asked to go fetch the group coffee - oh yeah, that happened more than once in the US when I was the MOST SENIOR person in the room. I don’t ever get nervous about my safety in Italy, where in the US, I’d get nervous if I just got pulled over by the police for a broken taillight of which I was unaware. In my little town my butcher, fruit/veggie guys, pasta shop, restaurants… they all know me personally and genuinely care how I’m doing and vice versa. In San Diego I could go to the same grocery store and the same restaurant day after day, year after year, without ever making a meaningful connection with anyone that works there. The US can be an incredibly lonely place - millions of people all living so alone. I go get pizza with my florist in Italy. In the States it is easy to life an invisible life. Italy makes me feel seen and loved.
Lenore I am so glad you found a guy who knows how to treat you right 🙌 I went skiing in Italy with my son in Feb and even the smallest little road side places had the most amazing food - it definitely made me consider a serious fling with your home country 😈
As a middle-aged, American living in Mexico about seven years (and about five in Costa Rica before that), I loved how much this piece made me smile.
Call me an expat, call me an immigrant (just don't call me late for dinner?), I don't care. The thought of having to move home at this point could keep me up at night if I spent time on it. I don't hate the US, and I don't hear that in this piece either, but... it's complicated.
Thank you for this.
Thanks Damon - like many of my failed romantic relationships I never hated them I just always thought “if only they could change it could be sooo good”. There is the grief of accepting the what is. Costa Rica is one of my favorite places - I’m glad my post made you smile 🤗
This is the right way to look at it. You're so on it.
Very good writing. Only thing I would disagree with is saying 3 jobs are not needed. That IS the case for most locals sadly.
Thanks for writing. Although I’ve been really busy since you left, I have thought of you from time to time. I always wanted you to be happy, so if you are finding happiness in old 🇵🇹 or even Dubai, I wish you well. I owe you a letter with an update on my life, but honestly (see, I’m trying) I don’t know when I’ll get around to it. Best!
Awww and here I didn’t think you cared 😂