Of course, you shared an important life lesson about walking our journey. Choices. Decisions. Individual, contradictory, fragile and inexplicable as they are.
The great thing about making choices is that when the time comes, we can make another choice. Or we can't, in which case we've passed on, and none of it's our problem anymore.
Thank you for sharing this difficult but necessary decision to move back to deal with what life has presented. Traveling mercies in all its incarnations.
Interestingly I went in the opposite direction. I lived on the Central Coast of Oregon, and am now happily situated in Tavira. Nevertheless, I loved Oregon and miss all my friends on the Coast.
That made all the sense immediately. As a mother who has to choose my young adult child, at times counter to my hopes and dreams for an ideal life 😂….I totally get it! You had me at “I have a second child here” Motherhood is a job we never retire from.
True, Danielle. I adopted a baby girl from China because I was infertile from cancer treatments. I didn't want to give up my dream of motherhood. Now that she's 16, I look over the years and am glad I've sacrificed my time and dreams for her. That was my choice. But of course, it hurts to let go of the dreams, too. And you are right: we never retire from being a parent.
Just dropping in to say hey from a fellow middle-aged person who moved to Portugal sight unseen with nothing but the clothes I could bring in a couple of suitcases.
Love the discussion about making hard choices even when none are clearly better, but going with the one that enables me to become who I want to be. Very good way of thinking about it!
Many of the original inhabitants of this continent had the beautiful tradition of giving names as description. She~who~showed~up~and~stayed is a very powerful pronouncement in reference to your purpose.
I was making the same decision the last 4 years. Grandchildren or my peace of mind if that man wins the election. I chose Portugal or many positive reasons. But the thought of leaving my 7 grandchildren was so painful, yet staying was unimaginable a dictator. I have never been to Portugal but I was told they were making it easy for Americans. Now they have run out of housing for locals and the door is not as wide open. I chose an Airbnb in Spain for January as a back up plan. My children are not happy. But, 2 days after I made the reservation, Biden stepped down. I canceled my reservation for January. Now I am taking a 16 day cruise from Miami to Portugal in January. Only time will tell if I made the right decision. I will know by January.
Wow...I am constantly tormented by mine. Right now America has lost me. In a week. I don't want to be here anymore. I knew it was coming since Nov 5. But since Jan 20th it has been confirmed. Sounds easy right? I have an EU passport. But a husband with dementia. A daughter and granddaughter in Portugal. Two + 5 grandkids. And I'm a Libra. I'm in the middle of the Maze. The orange Minotaur is coming. But it's not in the 🔮 yet.
You are carrying so much. I am glad you at least have an EU passport. This country no longer represents my values - did it ever? Probably not but it is now beyond obvious.
Thank you for so eloquently sharing this phase of your journey!! Though I haven't had to return to Canada, I've had to be with my dad in Mexico while he passed from cancer and in the UK for a year while I gave birth to my son. It's hard, but you have to do what you have to do. The good thing is, once you've done your duty, Portugal will still be there :)
So nice to “meet” a fellow nomad and to have someone understand the heartache. I got Xmas cards this year from extended family that said welcome home and I wanted to write them back “I’m here in body but not in spirit” - they just don’t get it!
A Brazilian friend of mine, Beatriz, whom I met at the University of of Texas at Austin in the 80s once told me, “when we’ve lived in different places and we’ve loved them all, we will never be completely happy again.” She was right.
Oh damn that lands so hard and true. I think it’s because you do fall in love with all these places on of course we can’t split ourselves into pieces so our heart is always missing some of it’s loves. Wow!
Beautifully expressed, Maureen. As always. In support, I'd like to add that Rushworth Kidder, founder of the Ethics Journal said "The hard choices are not between right and wrong, but between right and right." Welcome to Oregon. We're glad to have you!
Hi Maureen, given how wonderful Portugal is, I get how difficult this decision must have been for you. You have done so much self-reflection, and I know that whatever choice you made is the right one. No need to beat yourself up about it. There's another option: perhaps when you are not needed back home, you can move back to Portugal? I'm wishing the best for you in your personal journey.
Of course, you shared an important life lesson about walking our journey. Choices. Decisions. Individual, contradictory, fragile and inexplicable as they are.
The great thing about making choices is that when the time comes, we can make another choice. Or we can't, in which case we've passed on, and none of it's our problem anymore.
Most likely, the world won't be going anywhere.
Thank you for sharing this difficult but necessary decision to move back to deal with what life has presented. Traveling mercies in all its incarnations.
Interestingly I went in the opposite direction. I lived on the Central Coast of Oregon, and am now happily situated in Tavira. Nevertheless, I loved Oregon and miss all my friends on the Coast.
Well I have a second child here which is significant and part of my dilemma
That made all the sense immediately. As a mother who has to choose my young adult child, at times counter to my hopes and dreams for an ideal life 😂….I totally get it! You had me at “I have a second child here” Motherhood is a job we never retire from.
Doesn’t matter how old they are they are still our babies and when they need us it’s hard to not be there
True, Danielle. I adopted a baby girl from China because I was infertile from cancer treatments. I didn't want to give up my dream of motherhood. Now that she's 16, I look over the years and am glad I've sacrificed my time and dreams for her. That was my choice. But of course, it hurts to let go of the dreams, too. And you are right: we never retire from being a parent.
Just dropping in to say hey from a fellow middle-aged person who moved to Portugal sight unseen with nothing but the clothes I could bring in a couple of suitcases.
Love the discussion about making hard choices even when none are clearly better, but going with the one that enables me to become who I want to be. Very good way of thinking about it!
Woo hoo so nice to “meet” a fellow out of the box middle age life choicer - glad the post spoke to you 🫶🏻
Many of the original inhabitants of this continent had the beautiful tradition of giving names as description. She~who~showed~up~and~stayed is a very powerful pronouncement in reference to your purpose.
I was making the same decision the last 4 years. Grandchildren or my peace of mind if that man wins the election. I chose Portugal or many positive reasons. But the thought of leaving my 7 grandchildren was so painful, yet staying was unimaginable a dictator. I have never been to Portugal but I was told they were making it easy for Americans. Now they have run out of housing for locals and the door is not as wide open. I chose an Airbnb in Spain for January as a back up plan. My children are not happy. But, 2 days after I made the reservation, Biden stepped down. I canceled my reservation for January. Now I am taking a 16 day cruise from Miami to Portugal in January. Only time will tell if I made the right decision. I will know by January.
We’ll all know by January but at least now there is hope 🙏🏻
Wow...I am constantly tormented by mine. Right now America has lost me. In a week. I don't want to be here anymore. I knew it was coming since Nov 5. But since Jan 20th it has been confirmed. Sounds easy right? I have an EU passport. But a husband with dementia. A daughter and granddaughter in Portugal. Two + 5 grandkids. And I'm a Libra. I'm in the middle of the Maze. The orange Minotaur is coming. But it's not in the 🔮 yet.
You are carrying so much. I am glad you at least have an EU passport. This country no longer represents my values - did it ever? Probably not but it is now beyond obvious.
Thank you Maureen💙
Thank you for so eloquently sharing this phase of your journey!! Though I haven't had to return to Canada, I've had to be with my dad in Mexico while he passed from cancer and in the UK for a year while I gave birth to my son. It's hard, but you have to do what you have to do. The good thing is, once you've done your duty, Portugal will still be there :)
So nice to “meet” a fellow nomad and to have someone understand the heartache. I got Xmas cards this year from extended family that said welcome home and I wanted to write them back “I’m here in body but not in spirit” - they just don’t get it!
A Brazilian friend of mine, Beatriz, whom I met at the University of of Texas at Austin in the 80s once told me, “when we’ve lived in different places and we’ve loved them all, we will never be completely happy again.” She was right.
Oh damn that lands so hard and true. I think it’s because you do fall in love with all these places on of course we can’t split ourselves into pieces so our heart is always missing some of it’s loves. Wow!
Hello from another mid-age person who moved to Portugal unseen with 2 (and half) suite cases over two years ago! lol
Hope all goes well for you and best wishes in future endeavors.
Love finding kindred spirits
Beautifully expressed, Maureen. As always. In support, I'd like to add that Rushworth Kidder, founder of the Ethics Journal said "The hard choices are not between right and wrong, but between right and right." Welcome to Oregon. We're glad to have you!
Love that quote thanks for sharing 🫶🏻
Hi Maureen, given how wonderful Portugal is, I get how difficult this decision must have been for you. You have done so much self-reflection, and I know that whatever choice you made is the right one. No need to beat yourself up about it. There's another option: perhaps when you are not needed back home, you can move back to Portugal? I'm wishing the best for you in your personal journey.
Yes, Beth that is the hope and the plan. After all it's where all my "not so very much stuff" is - LOL!