As a 50yo who is leaving the US for the first time to move to Portugal in 5 weeks, this resonated DEEPLY with me. I also took political, economic, and societal cues as to when it was time to get the hell outta here (I was born and raised in Uvalde--that one hit hard). I also tend to make big decisions when I feel a bit lost. I am moving to Portugal eyes wide open, well aware that it will not be a utopia by any means. I'm more looking at it like, "what will it teach me?" A new language is an obvious one, but I'm sure patience also will be a big lesson. It's one I have yet to learn here, yet desperately need. I can't wait to see what else Portugal has waiting for me. I guess no matter what, I know she won't be boring! Thanks for your candor. I really enjoy your blog!
It won't be boring and it will grow and stretch you in the most beautiful of ways. I am so sorry re: Ulvade ...tbh I could have sadly inserted so many names of tragedies in its place. I love not having to worry about that here.
I was born in Canada but spent my formative years in Switzerland only to return to Canada at age 11 where I stayed until now. Except! I became a flight attendant for 4 years straight out of university. I didn't travel to too many places because my airline was new and mostly doing charters, but I got to see quite a few places in Europeand especially in the UK.
Why was it that I felt so much like nesting after that job fell apart? I bought a house I wasn't happy in and continued to long and yearn for a place to call my home, a place to put down my roots that wasn't my partner's idea of home but mine. Just mine.
I'm 55 and I'm still looking.
But all of a sudden, as the empty nest is looming, I'm getting to travel bug again.
Your essay really resonated with me, is what I'm trying to say. 😊
I'm so glad it resonated. My biggest fear was that no one else would relate to my weird peripatetic life. It's nice to "meet" a kindred spirit. I think we all have a need for stability and excitement; grounding and adventure. I think I always equated freedom with fleeing. I'm trying to explore freedom while staying in place and what home and belonging mean. It's a journey.
I am curious would it work to have a community of lost souls reside physically near each other? I see the story of 4 friends buying land together and each building a house. I have had this dream for decades now. I saw in Mozambique families had land with a wall or gate around and each kid as they grew up would build their own hut. I deeply value my own space and to be home in silence. but it would be nice to have neighbors.
Ha yes I think that would be lovely. It’s like my duplex fantasy - I’d like to meet the man of my dreams but just have him live next door so I can have my own space 😬😂
"What if my growth edge is learning how to stay?" Are you my emotional doppelganger? I read your piece this morning with a For Sale sign in my front yard. This will be my 3rd move in 10 years. While once upon a time my husband and I had roots in Colorado, (thirty years in one place), ever since the word retirement came into our lives, physical moves tend to follow emotional upheavals. The longing to belong sometimes gets confused with the desire to fit in and be a part of. Belonging has this mystical component to it -- not just belonging to a community, but to some greater sense of connectedness to a compassionate universe. This will most likely be my last move -- the restlessness of a seventy-two year old woman can only manifest in cross country moves for so long. Seems like I will be coming face to face with learning how to stay. What a service and grace your thoughtful question brings to me. A little piece of my heart will be thinking of you and others I've met in this fluid, nomadic tribe as I make my was from Austin to California -- the last move, but not the last adventure for this old bird. Maybe I will find that elusive sense of belonging, and stay away from the dogging concern with fitting in.
Austin to CA both amazing places.and yes moving gets tiring - and yes belonging is mystical and therefore also ephemeral - as in we know it when we feel it but it can be hard to “go looking for”. I sense a growing tribe of fellow travelers with Restless Legs of the Soul. Good luck with your move 🙏🏻
Here's to the restless legs of the soul, traversing the trails of divine discontent. So happy to discovered your writing. Thanks for good luck wishes. I need it, what with the glacial speed of real estate.
Thank you for sharing this. I'm a few weeks away from my move to Spain while I wait for my Portuguese Golden Visa to process, as I just don't want to remain in America. Your essay resonates on multiple levels. By the way, inflation was caused by the Ukrainian invasion, not US national debt - inflation has been a worldwide phenomenon and the interest rate of T-Bills clearly shows the rest of the world doesn't worry about American debt levels.
Hi Ben - visa processing times are taking a long time so appreciate you going to Spain while you wait. I’m not an economist but my understanding is we keep printing money to pay our national debt which devalues the dollar- oh and it appears the monopoly power of price gouging food producers 😜 Much better to debate US macro economics over a good bottle of wine 🫶🏻
We are in a different, yet similar phase of life. My husband and I are traveling the world with our kids, both for the adventure of it and because we're searching for a place to call home outside of the US for awhile. I worry that we won't find a place to belong, but I know from moving around within the US that it takes time -- and it requires letting go of comforts and expectations we've become accustomed to; it requires being aware of assumptions and letting them go, too. Growth isn't linear nor comfortable. I love the Kierkegaard quote: "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Despite rationally knowing this, I am definitely having a bit of a mid-life identity crisis. Glad to have found your little corner of the Internet.
Laura - I love that you’re doing that with your kids. I took both of mine to Indonesia for three years when they were 3 and 8 and they now have a comfort in the world that they never would have had if we had stayed in the U.S. It’s also so healthy to see your country from outside it and to realize it’s not the only way to live. I love that line from Kierkegaard as well- I don’t yet know where this story of mind will end but I hope it gives fellow nomads a place for companionship.
Yes Jordan Yes! I think we need and long for both - the struggle I find is how to have both - I think half the battle for me was giving my roots voice a space to talk because my adventure and wingspan voice was always so loud 🙏🏻
As a 50yo who is leaving the US for the first time to move to Portugal in 5 weeks, this resonated DEEPLY with me. I also took political, economic, and societal cues as to when it was time to get the hell outta here (I was born and raised in Uvalde--that one hit hard). I also tend to make big decisions when I feel a bit lost. I am moving to Portugal eyes wide open, well aware that it will not be a utopia by any means. I'm more looking at it like, "what will it teach me?" A new language is an obvious one, but I'm sure patience also will be a big lesson. It's one I have yet to learn here, yet desperately need. I can't wait to see what else Portugal has waiting for me. I guess no matter what, I know she won't be boring! Thanks for your candor. I really enjoy your blog!
It won't be boring and it will grow and stretch you in the most beautiful of ways. I am so sorry re: Ulvade ...tbh I could have sadly inserted so many names of tragedies in its place. I love not having to worry about that here.
I can't wait to not have that be a weekly news headline. :(
I was born in Canada but spent my formative years in Switzerland only to return to Canada at age 11 where I stayed until now. Except! I became a flight attendant for 4 years straight out of university. I didn't travel to too many places because my airline was new and mostly doing charters, but I got to see quite a few places in Europeand especially in the UK.
Why was it that I felt so much like nesting after that job fell apart? I bought a house I wasn't happy in and continued to long and yearn for a place to call my home, a place to put down my roots that wasn't my partner's idea of home but mine. Just mine.
I'm 55 and I'm still looking.
But all of a sudden, as the empty nest is looming, I'm getting to travel bug again.
Your essay really resonated with me, is what I'm trying to say. 😊
I'm so glad it resonated. My biggest fear was that no one else would relate to my weird peripatetic life. It's nice to "meet" a kindred spirit. I think we all have a need for stability and excitement; grounding and adventure. I think I always equated freedom with fleeing. I'm trying to explore freedom while staying in place and what home and belonging mean. It's a journey.
I am curious would it work to have a community of lost souls reside physically near each other? I see the story of 4 friends buying land together and each building a house. I have had this dream for decades now. I saw in Mozambique families had land with a wall or gate around and each kid as they grew up would build their own hut. I deeply value my own space and to be home in silence. but it would be nice to have neighbors.
Ha yes I think that would be lovely. It’s like my duplex fantasy - I’d like to meet the man of my dreams but just have him live next door so I can have my own space 😬😂
I told this idea to a friend in 2001 and she thought i was crazy.
So much to chew on here, and happily so. But think my fave line is welcome to my crisis.’ Bingo.
Thank you and yes it’s kinda been my internal tag line when I’m struggling - welcome to my crisis.
"What if my growth edge is learning how to stay?" Are you my emotional doppelganger? I read your piece this morning with a For Sale sign in my front yard. This will be my 3rd move in 10 years. While once upon a time my husband and I had roots in Colorado, (thirty years in one place), ever since the word retirement came into our lives, physical moves tend to follow emotional upheavals. The longing to belong sometimes gets confused with the desire to fit in and be a part of. Belonging has this mystical component to it -- not just belonging to a community, but to some greater sense of connectedness to a compassionate universe. This will most likely be my last move -- the restlessness of a seventy-two year old woman can only manifest in cross country moves for so long. Seems like I will be coming face to face with learning how to stay. What a service and grace your thoughtful question brings to me. A little piece of my heart will be thinking of you and others I've met in this fluid, nomadic tribe as I make my was from Austin to California -- the last move, but not the last adventure for this old bird. Maybe I will find that elusive sense of belonging, and stay away from the dogging concern with fitting in.
Austin to CA both amazing places.and yes moving gets tiring - and yes belonging is mystical and therefore also ephemeral - as in we know it when we feel it but it can be hard to “go looking for”. I sense a growing tribe of fellow travelers with Restless Legs of the Soul. Good luck with your move 🙏🏻
Here's to the restless legs of the soul, traversing the trails of divine discontent. So happy to discovered your writing. Thanks for good luck wishes. I need it, what with the glacial speed of real estate.
This is a stunning essay. Huge thanks to Julia Hubbel for pointing me towards it and your writing.
That is very kind - thank you for taking the time to let me know it spoke to you.
Thank you for sharing this. I'm a few weeks away from my move to Spain while I wait for my Portuguese Golden Visa to process, as I just don't want to remain in America. Your essay resonates on multiple levels. By the way, inflation was caused by the Ukrainian invasion, not US national debt - inflation has been a worldwide phenomenon and the interest rate of T-Bills clearly shows the rest of the world doesn't worry about American debt levels.
Hi Ben - visa processing times are taking a long time so appreciate you going to Spain while you wait. I’m not an economist but my understanding is we keep printing money to pay our national debt which devalues the dollar- oh and it appears the monopoly power of price gouging food producers 😜 Much better to debate US macro economics over a good bottle of wine 🫶🏻
We are in a different, yet similar phase of life. My husband and I are traveling the world with our kids, both for the adventure of it and because we're searching for a place to call home outside of the US for awhile. I worry that we won't find a place to belong, but I know from moving around within the US that it takes time -- and it requires letting go of comforts and expectations we've become accustomed to; it requires being aware of assumptions and letting them go, too. Growth isn't linear nor comfortable. I love the Kierkegaard quote: "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Despite rationally knowing this, I am definitely having a bit of a mid-life identity crisis. Glad to have found your little corner of the Internet.
Laura - I love that you’re doing that with your kids. I took both of mine to Indonesia for three years when they were 3 and 8 and they now have a comfort in the world that they never would have had if we had stayed in the U.S. It’s also so healthy to see your country from outside it and to realize it’s not the only way to live. I love that line from Kierkegaard as well- I don’t yet know where this story of mind will end but I hope it gives fellow nomads a place for companionship.
Beautiful!!
Yes, we sling adjectives when we write comments. Just got to say your humor is effervescent! Always bring the humor when possible!
Yes Jordan Yes! I think we need and long for both - the struggle I find is how to have both - I think half the battle for me was giving my roots voice a space to talk because my adventure and wingspan voice was always so loud 🙏🏻