Something about the mosaic metaphor has me thinking about the fallibility of human memory. Researchers tell us we corrupt our memories every time we access those files. Over time, we rewrite so much of them that they are eventually no longer the true account. And those are the ones we can hold onto. Most moments are lost forever.
I promise I'll bring this around...
This reality leaves some imaginative people wondering if technology will "solve" this memory problem for us. It's as if we'll one day remember every moment perfectly if we so desire. But oh what a crowded mosaic we'd be working with in that case. (That's nothing to say of the memories we're glad to lose.)
It's unrealistic to imagine trying to reconcile every version of this life that's ever breathed with the current one. Thankfully we lose so many of our tiles as we go so we can even stand the chance to move what remains.
You are making sense and yes memory is tricky - how depending on our perspective - do we remember the rainy days on an otherwise sunny beach holiday? Rarely - and likewise after a bad relationship ends we rarely remember the good times. All of a sudden the art project is getting complicated - LOL.
As I work to finalize my divorce at age 54, and approach the one year mark of working with a therapist (finally), I am realizing this is not about repairing things for me, or getting over things, but rather, learning about myself, what I need and want in my life, where I come up short for others, and then building the awareness and tools to correct those shortcomings. Sure, the wife is still gone after 24 years....but I am becoming a much better version of myself for myself, and for others, as a result...so it's not all bad.
I got literal shivers reading this: "Here’s the thing they don’t tell you about midlife: the fork in the road doesn’t come with road signs. There’s no flashing arrow saying, This Way to Your Best Life! Instead, you get whispers—quiet, nagging thoughts like, Is this all there is? and Time is running out." Another excellent piece, Maureen.
Yes, a crisis is not the same as a tragedy but a crossroad intersection where we have choices to make as to how we will use this precious gift of time. We can't know for certain what lies ahead. We can do our best to design a plan that we believe is right for us.
Time is always "running out" and one day we will run out of time. Until then we will continue to try and figure out the best direction and keep the ability to make changes to adapt and adjust as we move forward.
I have to laugh at myself. A lot of times actually, but particularly after reading this glorious essay. I am 55 and still don’t think of myself as middle aged or in midlife. Obviously I’m sorely deluded. My gram told me you’ll never feel as old as you are and that’s a good thing. She was right. It sneaks up on you so fast! Time is a thief and I know I need to be keenly aware of and protective of my time, or it’ll slip right through my fingers down to my toes.
I love the mosaic metaphor! Spot on. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your posts, thank you for sharing your journey 😊🤗
I happened upon Substack accidentally a couple months ago, I’m so glad I did!
Thanks Colleen it means the world to hear from readers especially when my writing resonates - at some point I hope my “heroine” gets a satisfactory conclusion to her story 😂
Something about the mosaic metaphor has me thinking about the fallibility of human memory. Researchers tell us we corrupt our memories every time we access those files. Over time, we rewrite so much of them that they are eventually no longer the true account. And those are the ones we can hold onto. Most moments are lost forever.
I promise I'll bring this around...
This reality leaves some imaginative people wondering if technology will "solve" this memory problem for us. It's as if we'll one day remember every moment perfectly if we so desire. But oh what a crowded mosaic we'd be working with in that case. (That's nothing to say of the memories we're glad to lose.)
It's unrealistic to imagine trying to reconcile every version of this life that's ever breathed with the current one. Thankfully we lose so many of our tiles as we go so we can even stand the chance to move what remains.
Am I making any sense?
You are making sense and yes memory is tricky - how depending on our perspective - do we remember the rainy days on an otherwise sunny beach holiday? Rarely - and likewise after a bad relationship ends we rarely remember the good times. All of a sudden the art project is getting complicated - LOL.
So beautiful and articulate! Thank you for this well considered exploration. ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
As I work to finalize my divorce at age 54, and approach the one year mark of working with a therapist (finally), I am realizing this is not about repairing things for me, or getting over things, but rather, learning about myself, what I need and want in my life, where I come up short for others, and then building the awareness and tools to correct those shortcomings. Sure, the wife is still gone after 24 years....but I am becoming a much better version of myself for myself, and for others, as a result...so it's not all bad.
So glad to hear you're finding this grace for yourself.
I got literal shivers reading this: "Here’s the thing they don’t tell you about midlife: the fork in the road doesn’t come with road signs. There’s no flashing arrow saying, This Way to Your Best Life! Instead, you get whispers—quiet, nagging thoughts like, Is this all there is? and Time is running out." Another excellent piece, Maureen.
Yes, a crisis is not the same as a tragedy but a crossroad intersection where we have choices to make as to how we will use this precious gift of time. We can't know for certain what lies ahead. We can do our best to design a plan that we believe is right for us.
Time is always "running out" and one day we will run out of time. Until then we will continue to try and figure out the best direction and keep the ability to make changes to adapt and adjust as we move forward.
Well said, Gary! Thanks for reading and sharing!
I have to laugh at myself. A lot of times actually, but particularly after reading this glorious essay. I am 55 and still don’t think of myself as middle aged or in midlife. Obviously I’m sorely deluded. My gram told me you’ll never feel as old as you are and that’s a good thing. She was right. It sneaks up on you so fast! Time is a thief and I know I need to be keenly aware of and protective of my time, or it’ll slip right through my fingers down to my toes.
I love the mosaic metaphor! Spot on. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your posts, thank you for sharing your journey 😊🤗
I happened upon Substack accidentally a couple months ago, I’m so glad I did!
Thanks Colleen it means the world to hear from readers especially when my writing resonates - at some point I hope my “heroine” gets a satisfactory conclusion to her story 😂