"... the places we don’t write about are the ones still teaching us how the story ends."
We always think we're supposed to quickly make sense of what's transpired. I'm moved to think that this is not necessarily how it goes. There is something to be said about letting things come to us when it's time.
What a share, though. That hero image at the outset... wow. So unassuming at first glance. I just stopped and felt myself pulled into that water. It suddenly felt so unsafe.
Wow, does this resonate. And I'm so sorry that Mendocino — one of the most beautiful places on Earth — is tangled up with these associations for you, but I get it. Kudos to you for finding the courage to touch that painful place and write about it; it's certainly something I needed to hear about my own past. Trusting ourselves is a mountain to climb after being in a relationship like that, especially in the murkiness of "it wasn't THAT bad; maybe I made too much of it."
Thanks Jan - and yes, I'm always amazed at my ability to gaslight myself / minimize pain. I guess it's how I survived childhood, but it sets us up I believe to accept things that most people would run from like a hot poker.
I'm not convinced "most people" would run. Yes, we're set up for crappy treatment by something in our past, but who's upbringing is perfect enough to insulate them, especially if they're "nice" people who innocently expect good treatment from those who love them. I don't think we have to be somehow already broken to wind up in a relationship where we can't see the other person trying to break us.
I started pulling quotes from your writing that resonated—that echoed "Ahhh, yes. Me, too." Then I realized your entire post would be in the comments. :-)
If I had to choose, the deepest resonations were “…every beautiful landscape has an underbelly,…The hardest part of healing isn’t forgetting or forgiving —it’s learning to trust yourself again - to see the beauty and the shadow…if in sharing our stories, just one other person sees the pattern, feels less alone, less crazy, less broken—then maybe, just maybe, the scars can be put in service of something beautiful….”
Sharing scars, and in so doing, comforting and giving hope to the scarred. Thanks again, brave, sweet, loving, tender, fierce, wise Maureen.
Thank you. We never know who we help when we tell about the hard stories of our lives and how we came through.
"... the places we don’t write about are the ones still teaching us how the story ends."
We always think we're supposed to quickly make sense of what's transpired. I'm moved to think that this is not necessarily how it goes. There is something to be said about letting things come to us when it's time.
What a share, though. That hero image at the outset... wow. So unassuming at first glance. I just stopped and felt myself pulled into that water. It suddenly felt so unsafe.
Thanks Damon - yes, funny but writing it brought up lots of "unsafe" that I'm still carrying - guess there is more to release and heal from!
Wow, does this resonate. And I'm so sorry that Mendocino — one of the most beautiful places on Earth — is tangled up with these associations for you, but I get it. Kudos to you for finding the courage to touch that painful place and write about it; it's certainly something I needed to hear about my own past. Trusting ourselves is a mountain to climb after being in a relationship like that, especially in the murkiness of "it wasn't THAT bad; maybe I made too much of it."
Thanks Jan - and yes, I'm always amazed at my ability to gaslight myself / minimize pain. I guess it's how I survived childhood, but it sets us up I believe to accept things that most people would run from like a hot poker.
I'm not convinced "most people" would run. Yes, we're set up for crappy treatment by something in our past, but who's upbringing is perfect enough to insulate them, especially if they're "nice" people who innocently expect good treatment from those who love them. I don't think we have to be somehow already broken to wind up in a relationship where we can't see the other person trying to break us.
Yes Jan good point and it's important to remember that "they" are very good at finding people that are empathetic, kind and give second chances.
Lots of respect. Thank you for your vulnerability, honesty and exquisite writing of this time.
Thanks Paula 🙏🏻
Brave post, girlfriend. Thank you.
I started pulling quotes from your writing that resonated—that echoed "Ahhh, yes. Me, too." Then I realized your entire post would be in the comments. :-)
If I had to choose, the deepest resonations were “…every beautiful landscape has an underbelly,…The hardest part of healing isn’t forgetting or forgiving —it’s learning to trust yourself again - to see the beauty and the shadow…if in sharing our stories, just one other person sees the pattern, feels less alone, less crazy, less broken—then maybe, just maybe, the scars can be put in service of something beautiful….”
Sharing scars, and in so doing, comforting and giving hope to the scarred. Thanks again, brave, sweet, loving, tender, fierce, wise Maureen.