15 Comments

Oy, Maureen, I saw 2 raccoons while walking my dog this morning...so pretty much the same thing as a hedgehog (probably).

Sorry to hear you're struggling with life back in the It's Fine. I can only imagine how much of a cultural shock it is for sure. While not the cliffs of Portugal, there are copious hiking options with amazing views around here...if that might help to break up the monotony.

Hang in there...or come take a paddle board out for an afternoon of river-solitude.

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Love this , spot on

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I’m glad / sad you relate

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Exactly! And after 3 annual returns to the US, we've not returned for 11 years. We would be in SHOCK. There is no way to hold anyone's attention when answering 'what have you been up to', 'how's life'; the sense of shock, or dismay, when asked some silly question such as 'so, how's your Spanish?'. You are more courageous in your more frequent returns. We, fortunately, have just declined all reasons to return and head off to Paris, Barcelona, Florence etc. etc. instead.

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I have a daughter here so she’s worth the courage but oh my it’s hard

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ive been back 81 days. I noticed the first 30 days we did lots of comparison and grocery shopping was painful. ive once again downloaded apps for coupons and found 2-3 grocery stores to rotate between. Oh and there's Costco which i missed. Its one of the only places we can get a snack for under $4. Ive consumed more soda than I have in years! its everywhere. FREE refills. its easy to remember why i left and Im so grateful for the 3 years of respite. I remember teaching in South Korea and how I made friends with koreans who had lived overseas and had no one to relate to about what its like to see with expat/repatriate eyes. I used to have 0 peers but now I have a niece that graduated from university in Prague and direct family members that know US is not the best place in the world. It only took decades to have this shared view. There was a loneliness in Portugal but there is a different flavor of loneliness in the US. I have this deep love that I cannot share. Im so glad I went with my kid bc she can understand why we left now unlike ever before. Perhaps this is another trauma bond we share?

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Oh wow I didn’t know you had left - yes I too have become a coupon queen and Costco junky - happily I don’t drink soft drinks ever

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Hi Maureen, I do understand why you are struggling. I'm an American who is still living in the U.S. and the last 10 years have been devastating in so many ways. The gun violence is out of control, and our country is divided politically and, actually, in every way possible, it seems.

By the way, I love Seinfeld. And I'm a born and raised New Yorker, though I moved away from NY years ago to go to college in the Midwest.

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Yes you named all the reasons I left - this is not the country I grew up in - it’s so sad

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This made me smile, Maureen.

My expat self will be 12 this November. Can confirm, the list of what I notice is different about the life Americana and mine only grows longer and more nuanced over life. I can still remember wondering if I'd someday feel this reverse culture shock thingy. Now, I wonder if I could ever just slide back into American life somewhere. (And FFS, in which of the 50 options would that happen I wonder?)

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We "seasoned expats" may be like long term inmates that just can't function anymore outside of the specialness of being overseas. I'm glad I made you smile though! Makes the writing worthwhile.

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I am hoping to move off continent in the next two years. I lived in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia in the late 1980's. Every time we returned to the States it was a big culture shock. I prefer the laid back lifestyles of many foreign countries. Enjoy your time stateside and get back to Portugal soon.

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It's funny isn't it and counter intuitive that the coming back is so much harder.

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Thanks, I appreciate you saying this out loud.

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You’re welcome 🙏🏻

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