This resonates so much. I’ve found that letting go of the need to ‘be special’ or always ‘be right’ has created so much more space for meaningful relationships and personal peace. It’s such a powerful shift to redefine success in terms of connection and impact rather than competition. Thank you for sharing this perspective—it’s a great reminder to embrace where we are now and the wisdom we’ve gained.
Your greatest legacy might come from who you lift up, not whom you outrun.
Wonderful! We know this, and yet it bears, repeating. I loved this essay, Maureen. It speaks to the heart of where I live and reminds me of some things I need to be reminded of. Thank you!
Brooks is making his way into a piece I'm working on right now. Strength to Strength is in my top five for sure.
Been talking about this need-to-be-right thing with my wife lately, which means I've been opining at her. It bothers me because I don't like the part of me that needs to be right. The story I tell myself is that I'm more invested in "getting it right," than "being right," but that's not 100% true. It's more a values statement.
I've noticed that our need-to-be-right thing ages like alcoholism. (It ain't pretty later in life.)
My theory is this: As the mind loses faculties, what's left is what we cling to, like being right, and having a good time. I don't want either to be me in 20 years. Heck, I don't want them now.
You’re so right, Damon! (do you like what I did there 😉) As I’ve aged I’ve realized that my need to be right often stemmed from a belief that I needed to justify what I needed - I’m working on being ok with my needs without having to “prove” myself.
A soulful post Maureen. On reading it, I realized that for my 3rd quarter, I'd picked something without really knowing how meaningful it would be. After sailing after that brass ring, I decided to open a bookstore in an offbeat pueblo in Mexico, far from any glitz or glamour. I figured if no one came in, I'd hang a hammock in the back and read away (3 days a week). Well, life has a way of being unexpected, and no matter how far off the beaten track we were, readers found us. And I got to share stories, and travel tales w/ so many people. Finally having a schedule that was work (!), re-retired, sold to a nice younger couple, and myself enjoyed the beach, the ocean and the nearby pyramid sites. Happy is good! Thanks for a great post!
Yes! And it actually came about b/c we were moving to Mexico from CA and there were absolutely NO bookstores in Quintana Roo (the state that is home to Cancun and Playa del Carmen). So b/c I love to read, I thought I'd just 'bring with-- 15,000 btw). Customs did not know what to do with Used Books (the story was Buy Sell Trade--to accommodate peoples' low wages in MX). It was a labor of love, and truly, did not think it would be successful. We were totally unplugged, this was pre-internet, had no phone in the store or computer, and would only sell BOOKS. We were purists! It was great fun. I'm serializing my 2004 memoir one chapter at a time on Substack. It's fun to do bc I am reliving all the horror stories in my head of doing such a ridiculous thing--moving tons of books to a foreign country. After doing so realized why there are NOT many bookstores (even now, unless in MexCity) in MX.
Thank you! I published the memoir, Where the Sky is Born: Living in the Land of the Maya, in 2004 and am serializing it now on my Substack. We'd bought land for a house (lost 2 early parcels--one to the MX govt through eminent domain, the next to costly infrastructure contractor could not afford) and #3 was the charm. Returned to 'civilization' and worked our buns off, dreaming of a bookstore, and that's where we are now, Chap 28.
This resonates so much. I’ve found that letting go of the need to ‘be special’ or always ‘be right’ has created so much more space for meaningful relationships and personal peace. It’s such a powerful shift to redefine success in terms of connection and impact rather than competition. Thank you for sharing this perspective—it’s a great reminder to embrace where we are now and the wisdom we’ve gained.
Thanks Lina so glad that you can relate 🙏🏻
Your greatest legacy might come from who you lift up, not whom you outrun.
Wonderful! We know this, and yet it bears, repeating. I loved this essay, Maureen. It speaks to the heart of where I live and reminds me of some things I need to be reminded of. Thank you!
Brooks is making his way into a piece I'm working on right now. Strength to Strength is in my top five for sure.
Been talking about this need-to-be-right thing with my wife lately, which means I've been opining at her. It bothers me because I don't like the part of me that needs to be right. The story I tell myself is that I'm more invested in "getting it right," than "being right," but that's not 100% true. It's more a values statement.
I've noticed that our need-to-be-right thing ages like alcoholism. (It ain't pretty later in life.)
My theory is this: As the mind loses faculties, what's left is what we cling to, like being right, and having a good time. I don't want either to be me in 20 years. Heck, I don't want them now.
You’re so right, Damon! (do you like what I did there 😉) As I’ve aged I’ve realized that my need to be right often stemmed from a belief that I needed to justify what I needed - I’m working on being ok with my needs without having to “prove” myself.
Ha!
A soulful post Maureen. On reading it, I realized that for my 3rd quarter, I'd picked something without really knowing how meaningful it would be. After sailing after that brass ring, I decided to open a bookstore in an offbeat pueblo in Mexico, far from any glitz or glamour. I figured if no one came in, I'd hang a hammock in the back and read away (3 days a week). Well, life has a way of being unexpected, and no matter how far off the beaten track we were, readers found us. And I got to share stories, and travel tales w/ so many people. Finally having a schedule that was work (!), re-retired, sold to a nice younger couple, and myself enjoyed the beach, the ocean and the nearby pyramid sites. Happy is good! Thanks for a great post!
Omg that’s my dream 3rd Q job / purpose!
Yes! And it actually came about b/c we were moving to Mexico from CA and there were absolutely NO bookstores in Quintana Roo (the state that is home to Cancun and Playa del Carmen). So b/c I love to read, I thought I'd just 'bring with-- 15,000 btw). Customs did not know what to do with Used Books (the story was Buy Sell Trade--to accommodate peoples' low wages in MX). It was a labor of love, and truly, did not think it would be successful. We were totally unplugged, this was pre-internet, had no phone in the store or computer, and would only sell BOOKS. We were purists! It was great fun. I'm serializing my 2004 memoir one chapter at a time on Substack. It's fun to do bc I am reliving all the horror stories in my head of doing such a ridiculous thing--moving tons of books to a foreign country. After doing so realized why there are NOT many bookstores (even now, unless in MexCity) in MX.
What an amazing story and fabulous memoir this will make!
Thank you! I published the memoir, Where the Sky is Born: Living in the Land of the Maya, in 2004 and am serializing it now on my Substack. We'd bought land for a house (lost 2 early parcels--one to the MX govt through eminent domain, the next to costly infrastructure contractor could not afford) and #3 was the charm. Returned to 'civilization' and worked our buns off, dreaming of a bookstore, and that's where we are now, Chap 28.
Unfortunate events always make the best stories but when you’re in the middle of them 🤦🏻♀️ I’m working on creating my 3rd time is a charm 🙏🏻
So true!! And it usually is!!