"Beating the future into submission"...and the notion of "the what might be" were/are very real things I think most of us struggle with. I've been seeing a personal therapist for a while now, and we talk about this as he sees the patterns in me. He's coined it "future tripping", where I spend so much time worrying about tomorrow that I forget to live today.
So for me, I just try to accept that tomorrow is going to play out the way it's intended...and all I can do is roll with it, be ready for it, and find the best in it...and that comes mostly by trying to focus on today, and achieving 3 daily wins: Physical (walking, running, soccer, lifting, etc), Mental (reading, writing, learning, creating, etc), and Spiritual (prayer, studying, growth, etc).
Does it work? Well....60% of the time it works every time....that is good enough, for now.
A woman was mad because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you. Don't bother coming after me.”
Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.
After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.
She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.
After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.
"She's finally gone...yeah I know, about bloody time, I'm coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie.
I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like."
He hung up, grabbed his keys and left.
She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed.
Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he wrote...
"I can see your feet. We're outta bread: be back in five minutes."
I've been where you say you are many times in the past. Personally I've found that many birthdays can change perspective. Wisdom comes whether one realizes it or not. I have learned to discern the difference between the things I can change and those I cannot. I put aside those I cannot and try and work on the others. Not always successful, but I'm a "senior" and am happy, giving care to my Alzheimer's-beset wife of 58 years. This probably doesn't fit with your concept, but there it is. Cheers and be of sunny heart.
Thanks so much for sharing Anthony - what an amazing gift of love and commitment you are offering to your wife - it sounds based on your comment that you have indeed achieved wisdom - it gives me hope that perhaps time will bestow it upon me too 🙏🏻
As someone who counts Christianity amongst the list of elements in my personal recovery basket, I also struggled with the Serenity Prayer, but for different reasons. I struggle with ANY prayer. But I do sit in meta meditation every morning, which is more like well-wishing and self programming than prayer, but it's darn close. (This might be why I didn't last beyond six months in AA. Sorry, Bill.)
As a coach, I often talk about Acceptance and it's upstairs neighbor, Surrender. It usually comes as an invitation, as in, "It sounds like you might be grappling with acceptance" or something like that.
Most reject it up front. Feels too much like failure when we agree to surrender our precious thoughts. It's like failure of self, as in... If I'm not my thoughts, then what am I?
Ultimately, my biggest challenges with AA came to light as I delved into more Buddhist teachings. It was the waking up to the non-dual nature of what this is. And by "this," I mean this right now thing going on, which is where it all happens.
I'm not a something living in that now-ness who is failing when I accept what is. There is no me at the center of experience. It's all just experience.
Not too esoteric at all and you are speaking my language in terms of no self and non dual nature of reality - and then there is the very human self that gets off the mat and needs to make decisions (is the glove responsible for what the hand does 😉) and try to function in this time space playground where “god” gets to play hide and seek with itself 🫶🏻
I didn't always view surrender as a positive thing; I equated it with failure. Now I'm at the point where I see surrender as voluntarily giving up stress, anxiety, and allowing myself to feel less control because in reality, having complete control of our lives is an illusion. And I have to be OK with not being in control. I'm fine with the Serenity Prayer -- I think so much is open to interpretation. Perhaps serenity is attainable, but it often is elusive, too.
How about surrender also comes with again. Give up one thing or ignore it in favor of believing you're more complete instead? Make sense? Not articulated well, but...
I'm sure you already know this one:
What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
"Beating the future into submission"...and the notion of "the what might be" were/are very real things I think most of us struggle with. I've been seeing a personal therapist for a while now, and we talk about this as he sees the patterns in me. He's coined it "future tripping", where I spend so much time worrying about tomorrow that I forget to live today.
So for me, I just try to accept that tomorrow is going to play out the way it's intended...and all I can do is roll with it, be ready for it, and find the best in it...and that comes mostly by trying to focus on today, and achieving 3 daily wins: Physical (walking, running, soccer, lifting, etc), Mental (reading, writing, learning, creating, etc), and Spiritual (prayer, studying, growth, etc).
Does it work? Well....60% of the time it works every time....that is good enough, for now.
But do you know any good jokes 😂
A woman was mad because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you. Don't bother coming after me.”
Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.
After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.
She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.
After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.
"She's finally gone...yeah I know, about bloody time, I'm coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie.
I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like."
He hung up, grabbed his keys and left.
She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed.
Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he wrote...
"I can see your feet. We're outta bread: be back in five minutes."
Hi Maureen,
I've been where you say you are many times in the past. Personally I've found that many birthdays can change perspective. Wisdom comes whether one realizes it or not. I have learned to discern the difference between the things I can change and those I cannot. I put aside those I cannot and try and work on the others. Not always successful, but I'm a "senior" and am happy, giving care to my Alzheimer's-beset wife of 58 years. This probably doesn't fit with your concept, but there it is. Cheers and be of sunny heart.
Thanks so much for sharing Anthony - what an amazing gift of love and commitment you are offering to your wife - it sounds based on your comment that you have indeed achieved wisdom - it gives me hope that perhaps time will bestow it upon me too 🙏🏻
As someone who counts Christianity amongst the list of elements in my personal recovery basket, I also struggled with the Serenity Prayer, but for different reasons. I struggle with ANY prayer. But I do sit in meta meditation every morning, which is more like well-wishing and self programming than prayer, but it's darn close. (This might be why I didn't last beyond six months in AA. Sorry, Bill.)
As a coach, I often talk about Acceptance and it's upstairs neighbor, Surrender. It usually comes as an invitation, as in, "It sounds like you might be grappling with acceptance" or something like that.
Most reject it up front. Feels too much like failure when we agree to surrender our precious thoughts. It's like failure of self, as in... If I'm not my thoughts, then what am I?
Ultimately, my biggest challenges with AA came to light as I delved into more Buddhist teachings. It was the waking up to the non-dual nature of what this is. And by "this," I mean this right now thing going on, which is where it all happens.
I'm not a something living in that now-ness who is failing when I accept what is. There is no me at the center of experience. It's all just experience.
(Too esoteric?)
Not too esoteric at all and you are speaking my language in terms of no self and non dual nature of reality - and then there is the very human self that gets off the mat and needs to make decisions (is the glove responsible for what the hand does 😉) and try to function in this time space playground where “god” gets to play hide and seek with itself 🫶🏻
"is the glove responsible for what the hand does"💥 Fun
Brava!!!!
Profound ~~~~
Excitingly educational~~~~
And you just can't help yourself gurl....
Humorous after all ~~~~
Thanks, it's really helpful to discover a kindred soul.
So nice to hear that 🫶🏻
Yes. All of it. Thank you.
Hi Maureen,
I didn't always view surrender as a positive thing; I equated it with failure. Now I'm at the point where I see surrender as voluntarily giving up stress, anxiety, and allowing myself to feel less control because in reality, having complete control of our lives is an illusion. And I have to be OK with not being in control. I'm fine with the Serenity Prayer -- I think so much is open to interpretation. Perhaps serenity is attainable, but it often is elusive, too.
How about surrender also comes with again. Give up one thing or ignore it in favor of believing you're more complete instead? Make sense? Not articulated well, but...