Very insightful!! When is someone going to hire you to write editorials for the Times or the Post?
And brings to mind how i wish someone would write a book that flows in the opposite direction of soooooooooooo many of our reductionist adages that actually can be harmful because they become imbedded in our psyches..... "can't teach an old dog new tricks" (why would we want to limit ourselves with this negativity?) "the grass is always greener" (why would we want to be so pessamistic?) etc....etc....... Of course i understand the simplistic messages in the observations, and i say them, but i also find so many of them are limiting.
Will your therapist read this? :D........ that section sparked laughter.
And agreed with another commenter here in the comments section, thank goodness Max came through all that illness mess with flying colors.
Wonderful and perceptive, Maureen. You have a definite gift for writing and if I had even a little room in my budget, I would upgrade to a paid subscription. Maybe...my book will somehow get published and my budget will be more forgiving. I don't have the tech skills to self-publish or the literary contacts I need to support me; so I'm working on finishing it--then learning how to publish it.
I have found my way to seeing introversion as multidimensional—in some contexts I’m very outgoing and get a lot of energy from crowds and other times it nearly kills me to talk to someone I don’t know. I hadn’t thought of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in this way. It is brilliant. Also, that hospital stay sounds scary. I am grateful everything ended up fine.
Interesting I hadn’t thought to look at my introversion as multidimensional but that totally makes sense. Yes the hospital experience was scary and I’m grateful he’s ok 🙏🏻
Fuck (I'm blaming you for that one)....I always got my butt kicked at Chutes and Ladders when my kids were little. So if that is life, I am screwed.
And yes, the anxiety and fear of life changes are real. I am still knee-deep in mine, waiting for a divorce I don't want to be finalized, but sitting in a small, cozy home along a river, with warm bed, kitchen full of food, money in the bank....and yet all I feel is fear and uncertainty. In that prior life, I could easily make plans for the future, had a good idea what the next day, week and month would look like. But now, it's just me staring into the abyss with no reflection, no view, no clarity...I have no idea what is coming in life.
Everyone around me tells me it's going to be good, no much better, than if I had stayed on the same course....but it's hard to see that. I'm too busy being blinded by fear, uncertainty, loneliness and the deafening silence of my new life. And to now enter the dating life at some point, as a 53 year old man whose wife just left him, is even more daunting and terrifying. I've not been flirted with by another woman in.....I actually don't even know. A VERY long time....so now add that fear of "I'm going to die alone", and it's funny how life can quickly become such a shitshow amidst a lot of positive things (business that is doing well, life on a river, etc).
Thanks for indulging me on my morning rant...sometimes just helps to get it out of my head. Cheers!
Oh, Jeff, I hear and relate to your fear of the unknown future. You just had your anchor pulled away and you are adrift in apprehension. I want to remind you that a anchor holds one in the same spot. How constricting is that?!
I left a marriage almost 35 years ago. I had 2 small children and enough anger to sink a boat; but my kids were my purpose! That saved me. It took me 20 years to deal with my anger (toward all men who were metaphorically the same as my ex). But the kids grew up, I had a rewarding chance to complete a Masters degree, I owned my own business, I wrote a book, and one day I realized I wasn't mad anymore. Instead I was fulfilled and happy. I never would have been in that position if I'd stayed in a marriage that wasn't working.
I remarried at 58. I'll be 70 in a few days, but I've never been happier. My husband has had 2 serious health scares in the last 7 months; but I'm not afraid of dying alone if I must. I learned to live alone and thrive. I learned to risk again and truly love again.
You will stumble, you will survive, stronger and happier! Just breathe slowly and take it one day at a time.
This post really twanged my inner strings: I might be on the other side of midlife, but those chutes and ladders never disappear entirely. No wonder I always groaned when my kids wanted to play that game.
The other one I dreaded playing with my kids was Candy Land -- until a clever parent of young children pointed out that if I just removed half the playing cards, the game wouldn't last nearly as long :-)
Very insightful!! When is someone going to hire you to write editorials for the Times or the Post?
And brings to mind how i wish someone would write a book that flows in the opposite direction of soooooooooooo many of our reductionist adages that actually can be harmful because they become imbedded in our psyches..... "can't teach an old dog new tricks" (why would we want to limit ourselves with this negativity?) "the grass is always greener" (why would we want to be so pessamistic?) etc....etc....... Of course i understand the simplistic messages in the observations, and i say them, but i also find so many of them are limiting.
Will your therapist read this? :D........ that section sparked laughter.
And agreed with another commenter here in the comments section, thank goodness Max came through all that illness mess with flying colors.
Wonderful and perceptive, Maureen. You have a definite gift for writing and if I had even a little room in my budget, I would upgrade to a paid subscription. Maybe...my book will somehow get published and my budget will be more forgiving. I don't have the tech skills to self-publish or the literary contacts I need to support me; so I'm working on finishing it--then learning how to publish it.
That’s very kind of you to even want to and I am rooting for you and your book. I am grateful you’re part of my reader community 🙏🏻💕
I have found my way to seeing introversion as multidimensional—in some contexts I’m very outgoing and get a lot of energy from crowds and other times it nearly kills me to talk to someone I don’t know. I hadn’t thought of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in this way. It is brilliant. Also, that hospital stay sounds scary. I am grateful everything ended up fine.
Interesting I hadn’t thought to look at my introversion as multidimensional but that totally makes sense. Yes the hospital experience was scary and I’m grateful he’s ok 🙏🏻
Fuck (I'm blaming you for that one)....I always got my butt kicked at Chutes and Ladders when my kids were little. So if that is life, I am screwed.
And yes, the anxiety and fear of life changes are real. I am still knee-deep in mine, waiting for a divorce I don't want to be finalized, but sitting in a small, cozy home along a river, with warm bed, kitchen full of food, money in the bank....and yet all I feel is fear and uncertainty. In that prior life, I could easily make plans for the future, had a good idea what the next day, week and month would look like. But now, it's just me staring into the abyss with no reflection, no view, no clarity...I have no idea what is coming in life.
Everyone around me tells me it's going to be good, no much better, than if I had stayed on the same course....but it's hard to see that. I'm too busy being blinded by fear, uncertainty, loneliness and the deafening silence of my new life. And to now enter the dating life at some point, as a 53 year old man whose wife just left him, is even more daunting and terrifying. I've not been flirted with by another woman in.....I actually don't even know. A VERY long time....so now add that fear of "I'm going to die alone", and it's funny how life can quickly become such a shitshow amidst a lot of positive things (business that is doing well, life on a river, etc).
Thanks for indulging me on my morning rant...sometimes just helps to get it out of my head. Cheers!
All rants and F bombs and vulnerable spots welcome!
Oh, Jeff, I hear and relate to your fear of the unknown future. You just had your anchor pulled away and you are adrift in apprehension. I want to remind you that a anchor holds one in the same spot. How constricting is that?!
I left a marriage almost 35 years ago. I had 2 small children and enough anger to sink a boat; but my kids were my purpose! That saved me. It took me 20 years to deal with my anger (toward all men who were metaphorically the same as my ex). But the kids grew up, I had a rewarding chance to complete a Masters degree, I owned my own business, I wrote a book, and one day I realized I wasn't mad anymore. Instead I was fulfilled and happy. I never would have been in that position if I'd stayed in a marriage that wasn't working.
I remarried at 58. I'll be 70 in a few days, but I've never been happier. My husband has had 2 serious health scares in the last 7 months; but I'm not afraid of dying alone if I must. I learned to live alone and thrive. I learned to risk again and truly love again.
You will stumble, you will survive, stronger and happier! Just breathe slowly and take it one day at a time.
I SO love and appreciate that you responded to Jeff’s comment - that is the. beauty of this little community 🫶🏻
This post really twanged my inner strings: I might be on the other side of midlife, but those chutes and ladders never disappear entirely. No wonder I always groaned when my kids wanted to play that game.
Thanks Jan 💕 and yes this game plus Sorry always felt a little cruel 🤕
The other one I dreaded playing with my kids was Candy Land -- until a clever parent of young children pointed out that if I just removed half the playing cards, the game wouldn't last nearly as long :-)
ONG how did I never think of that hack? Genius!